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Pedagogical Essay by Katie Hope Grobman

Parenting Styles
Original to Contemporary Research and Applications

Diana Baumrind's Parenting Styles with her original descriptions, contemporary findings, and an essay doubling as a Q&A lesson.

I feel teaching about parenting is such a worthwhile topic, I emphasize it even in Introductory Psychology. Afterall, everybody was a child with people who should have acted as parental figures, and many students will become parents. Teenagers and older adults alike have strong opinions about parenting, so it’s a topic students can bring their passions to learning.I wrote the following essay so you can read conversationally, with pauses to think written as Q and A. Please feel free to use this as an outline of a lesson plan or as a reading to assign students.
Father and son play in grass together with toy trucks.
Children don't need more things. The best toys a child can have is a parent who gets down on the floor and plays with them.
Bruce Perry
Developmental Psychology professor Diana Baumrind first described broad ways parents raise their children in the 1950’s and 60’s. Decades later, we still study her parenting styles.What can we learn from her work and everything that followed about being good parents? Isn’t putting parents into style boxes overly simplistic? What about culture? Maybe parents aren’t as important as Developmental Psychology suggests?

Describing Parenting Styles

Wondering how to describe parents simply, clearly, and accurately, Baumrind (1971) began a naturalistic observation of 4-year-olds.She asked dozens of parents with kids in nursery schools to allow her student research assistants to quietly watch them at school and home during lots of everyday experiences, like dinner and bedtime. With checklists and notes, they observed parent-child relationships with extraordinary detail. And they found patterns of behavior forming clusters she saw intuitively in her previous work.

What are these parenting styles? Let’s look at each as she described and identify the most essential elements:
The permissive parent attempts to behave in a nonpunitive, acceptant and affirmative manner towards the child's impulses, desires, and actions. She [parent] consults with him [child] about policy decisions and gives explanations for family rules. She makes few demands for household responsibility and orderly behavior. She presents herself to the child as a resource for him to use as he wishes, not as an ideal for him to emulate, nor as an active agent responsible for shaping or altering his ongoing or future behavior. She allows the child to regulate his own activities as much as possible, avoids the exercise of control, and does not encourage him to obey externally defined standards. She attempts to use reason and manipulation, but not overt power to accomplish her ends

(Baumrind, 1966, p. 889)
Q: How would you describe a permissive parent?

A: I might describe a permissive parent as: nice, their friend, non-confrontational, having low expectations, available, few rules, and lenient. To her, being a parent means being a resource for her child.
The authoritarian parent attempts to shape, control, and evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set standard of conduct, usually an absolute standard, theologically motivated and formulated by a higher authority. She [parent] values obedience as a virtue and favors punitive, forceful measures to curb self-will at points where the child's actions or beliefs conflict with what she thinks is right conduct. She believes in keeping the child in his place, , in restricting his autonomy, and in assigning household responsibilities in order to inculcate respect for work. She regards the preservation of order and traditional structure as a highly valued end in itself. She does not encourage verbal give and take, believing that the child should accept her word for what is right

(Baumrind, 1966, p. 890)
Q: How would you describe an authoritarian parent?

A: I might describe an authoritarian parent as: strict, high expectations, controlling, harsh, punitive, providing structure, high expectations, and many rules.To her, being a parent means providing discipline.
The authoritative parent attempts to direct the child's activities but in a rational, issue-oriented manner. She [parent] encourages verbal give and take, shares with the child the reasoning behind her policy, and solicits his objections when he refuses to conform. Both autonomous self-will and disciplined conformity are valued. Therefore she exerts firm control at points of parent-child divergence, but does not hem the child in with restrictions. She enforces her own perspective as an adult, but recognizes the child's individual interests and special ways. The authoritative parent affirms the child's present qualities, but also sets standards for future conduct. She uses reason, power, and shaping by regime and reinforcement to achieve her objectives, and does not base her decisions on group consensus or the individual child's desires.

(Baumrind, 1966, p. 891)
Q: How would you describe an authoritative parent?

A: I might describe an authoritative parent as: supportive, respectful, encouraging, providing structure, high expectations, consistency, open communication, and few but principled rules. To her, being a parent means guidance toward independent adulthood.
Baumrind found her three styles captured the essence of most parents (92%), but she had a small group, about 1 in 12, she called rejecting, uninvolved, and neglectful. To these parents, parenting means little.

Is Parenting Really Just Boxes?

Q: If parenting styles aren’t categorical, how do we organize them along a continuum? Like if parenting styles were a line, what are opposite poles and what’s in between?
A: Maybe Parenting Styles are a Line? Permissive and Authoritarian feel like opposites.
parenting style line with permissive and authoritarian at poles and authoritative in the middle
Q: But is authoritative exactly in between, or is it more like permissive or authoritarian?
A: Maybe it's more like permissive because both are responsive to their children's needs.
parenting style line with permissive and authoritarian at poles and authoritative near permissive
A: Or maybe it's more like authoritarian because both are demanding, providing structure for their children?
parenting style line with permissive and authoritarian at poles and authoritative nearer authoritarian
Placing authoritative anywhere along the line is sensible, and not quite right.

Authoritative parents are nurturing, kind, and care about their children’s perspectives just like permissive parents. But authoritative parents are still in charge with expectations and structure.

Similarly, authoritative parents set limits and have consequences for misbehavior just like authoritarian parents. But authoritative parents still avoid excessive power-assertion and connect with their kids to convey why they should follow rules.

Parenting styles don’t vary just along a continuum, but two dimensions – demandingness and responsiveness. We can create a Cartesian coordinate system (xy plane) organizing styles.
Parenting styles vary along two dimensions
parenting style xy plane cartesian coordinate system placing parenting styles on two dimensions - responsiveness and demandingness.

Predicting Child Outcomes from Parenting Style

Unsurprisingly, neglectful parenting is associated with the worst outcomes (e.g., Sternberg, 2001). And not so surprisingly, authoritative parenting is associated with the best outcomes. Children of authoritative parents are higher in empathy & pro-social behaviors (Wong et al., 2021), more well-liked by peers (e.g., Dekovic & Jassens, 1992), have higher self-esteem (Pinquart & Gerke, 2019) and better school achievement (Pinquart, 2016). They engage in less school misconduct (e.g., Lamborn et al., 1991) and less relational aggression (Kawabat et al, 2011).

Authoritative parents are oriented towards their child’s growth, so they leave them free to develop within structure and flourish. With warmth and structure, authoritative parents model emotional maturity, coaching their children to form autonomy. They’ll have few rules, chosen based on principles their children learn through reason and structure, so they genuinely internalize values and self-discipline. Their children do not simply obey to avoid harsh punishment and understanding the rules, they internalize them.

Parenting styles are not the sole predictor of children’s success. For example, peers dramatically influence children too for better or worse, such as substance abuse and delinquency (e.g., Berge et al 2016; Steinberg et al 1992).Even so, teens and twenty-somethings with authoritative parents say their parents, not peers, would be their strongest influence if they faced moral dilemmas (Bednar & Fisher, 2003). Parenting matters and it can be hard to choose how you parent in the heat of a moment, so let’s practice a scenario.

Let’s Practice Parenting!

Family members with vastly different views of parenting than me see our well-behaved daughter’s happy disposition and say I’m just lucky.To which I say – yes, I’m the luckiest parent ever to be blessed with such a wonderful child! Even so, maybe our parenting style matters. Let’s consider an actual event:

Abby, 4 years old, and I went to the playground in the early evening, a similar age boy was playing too. After awhile the boy’s mom called it’s time to go. He kept playing. She raised her voice, “Get over here right now! What’s wrong with you? You come when I call you” She walked quickly to her car, dragging him by his hand.

Q: What parenting style did the other mom demonstrate?

A: She relied on power assertion; she oriented towards gaining her son’s obedience. She wasn’t understanding his desires. She demonstrates an authoritarian style.

Notice his mom was not merely lacking in appreciation of her son’s perspective. “What’s the matter with you?” She assumes her child’s behavior is because of who he is as a person.
I question her attribution. But he’s not going to question; he’s a little kid, mom knows best, and we’re seeing a reason non-authoritative styles predict less self-esteem.

His mom probably had good reasons to leave. The sun was setting and it’s less safe to play in the dark. Dinner and a nighttime routine take time and children especially need sleep.

Q: Imagine you’re a permissive parent. You have good reasons to go home. What might you do at the playground with your child?

A: A permissive parent might try reasoning, “oh, it’s getting late, and you know how you feel in the morning.” She might just follow her child’s wishes and let him keep playing. She might try getting what she wants in non-assertive ways to avoid conflict, “oh, if we go home now, we can have ice cream!” Whether she shows it or not, she could feel helpless and resentful because she’ll need to rush bedtime or have less time getting him to sleep.

Soon after the boy left, I called to Abby, “it’s time to go,” And she happily skipped to me and we held hands to our car.

Q: How did that happen? How could a parent use an authoritative style here?

A: I appreciate my daughter’s perspective even when it’s not always mine.We’re at a playground, a place literally designed to appeal to children. Had she not come when I called, I would have made my attribution to the playground, not her. Driving over we talked how much she likes playing and I described our evening together, from playing, to dinner and bedtime routine. While she was playing, I called in a nice voice, “we’ll have to leave in about ten minutes.” Then enthusiastically, “we only have about 5 minutes left so definitely play what you really really want to!” She did, rushing up and down the slide over and over. I wasn’t actually timing. I can be flexible about exactly when we leave. But I watch her play and within minutes she peters out. That’s my cue to call it’s time to go. I’m all smiles and I complimented her for listening so well. The drive home is fun too. Notice how I care very much about her perspective, and it impacts my choices.Still, I’m very much in charge. I’m simply relying on structuring our time and showing appreciation (positive reinforcement) instead of power assertion.

Culture

Maybe you can see yourself being a parent like me, or maybe not. Afterall, I’m one person informed by so much that could be different than you, like my education and culture. Evidence for authoritative parenting is overwhelming over decades of studies in the US.But do our findings apply across cultures?

Findings vary across cultures, and cultures shape ways we parent, like how much parenting looks like a democracy. Despite looking different in our behaviors, diverse cultures have authoritative parenting – high responsiveness and high demandingness.It predicts the best outcomes everywhere we study, such as Argentina, Brazil, Pakistan, Scandinavia, Türkiye, and Western Europe (e.g., Martinez et al 2007; Zhange et al 2017; Steinberg 2001; Turkel & Teser 2009; Olivari et al 2015).

An important caveat is in some cultures consider obedience a deep cultural value, and authoritarian parenting there predicts some positive outcomes just as well as authoritative. For example, Chinese hold a belief in, chiao shun – children owe obedience to their parents. Their children interpret behaviors like scolding, shaming, and guilt as acts of caring and steps toward family harmony. With their interpretations and reactions, they develop well. Interestingly, though the first generation of Chinese immigrants to America respond just like Chinese persons in China, the second generation reacts like other American children (e.g, Chao 1994; Robinson et al 1996). Another context we see the power of children’s cultural interpretation is in less affluent Black neighborhoods where children see their authoritarian parents as trying to protect them (Lamborn et al., 1996; Dearing, 2004).

Some cultural contexts allow authoritarian parenting to work.But even here, authoritative works too (Pinquart et al., 2018).

But Does Parenting Style Actually Cause Child Outcomes?

Very scientifically-minded readers may notice every study we discussed is observational. We’re correlating parenting styles with children’s behaviors.But that doesn’t mean the parent caused the child’s behavior. Maybe parents can afford to be less strict with well-behaved kids, so a child’s behavior caused their parent’s style? Aspects of personality like empathy and impulsiveness have genetic components, so maybe biological is a third cause of correlations. If you noticed, I’m so impressed! And as scientists, we invite skepticism. It helps us know where we need to gather evidence and what views we need to hold tentatively.

Q: What kind of studies do we conduct if we would like to know the causes?

A: Experiments

But we simply can’t randomly assign children to parents of different styles or randomly assign parents to have to raise their child certain ways, especially ways we hypothesize are harmful. So horribly unethical! But this isn’t our only place where experiments are morally wrong, and scientists can be creative.

Interventions are experiments, so if we teach authoritative parenting as a cause, we can observe the effect. We’ll take every volunteer family and divide them into two groups.Our experimental group gets parenting lessons (experimental group), and the control group doesn’t, at least during the study. They’re in a delayed-treatment condition so they get the same lessons and same benefits, just a little later. A recent study in a Hispanic community provided a positive discipline program to parents. Over time, and in contrast with the control (delayed treatment), the parents became less authoritarian and less permissive. Researchers subsequently saw children have greater academic success and less hyperactivity (Carroll, 2023). Interventions like this are common enough where we can do a meta-analysis – a study of patterns across studies. Interventions teaching parenting skills lead to less child problem behaviors like bullying (Chen et al., 2021; Ruane & Carr, 2019)

Another scientific approach we have is a longitudinal structural equation model. We collect lots of data from parents and children in the same families repeatedly across years. Then we look at correlations across times. So does a parent’s style with younger children predict changes in their children’s behavior at older ages? Or does a child’s behavior at younger ages predict changes in parenting style as they age? Both are true! Parent-child relationships are bi-directional. Parents impact their children, and children impact their parents as they age (e.g., Eisenberg et al., 1999 with 6–8-year-olds emotional dysregulation; Huh et al., 2006 with adolescent girls externalizing misbehaviors).
Across the world’s cultures, we see parenting styles described by two dimensions. How responsive are parents at being supportive, attuned to their children’s needs, and interested in fostering their children’s individuality? How demanding are parents with high expectations, structure, and willingness to address their children’s misbehavior? While being responsive and demanding intuitive feel like opposites, they’re not. Parents high in both use an authoritative parenting style and it predicts positive outcome for children.

References

Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development, 37(4), 887-907.

Baumrind, D. (1971). Current patterns of parental authority. Developmental Psychology, 4(1), 1-103.

Bednar, D. E., & Fisher, T. D. (2003). Peer referencing in adolescent decision making as a function of perceived parenting style. Adolescence, 38(150), 607-621.

Berge, J., Sundell, K., Öjehagen, A., & Håkansson, A. (2016). Role of parenting styles in adolescent substance use: results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort study. BMJ Open, 6(1), e008979

Carroll, J. L. (2023). The impact of parenting styles on children’s self-esteem. Journal of Family Studies, 23(2), 69-79.

Chao, R. K. (1994). Beyond parental control and authoritarian parenting style: Understanding Chinese parenting through the cultural notion of training. Child Development, 65(4), 1111-1119.

Chen, Y., Li, J., Li, X., & Li, J. (2021). The relationships between parenting styles, emotion regulation, and subjective well-being of left-behind children. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 695698.

Dearing, E. (2004). The developmental implications of restrictive and supportive parenting across neighborhoods and ethnicities. In R. D. Taylor & M. C. Wang (Eds.), Social and emotional adjustment and family relations in ethnic minority families (pp. 1-16). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.

Dekovic, M., & Janssens, J. M. (1992). Parents’ child-rearing style and child’s sociometric status. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 153(3), 283-290.

Eisenberg, N., Fabes, R. A., Bernzweig, J., Karbon, M., Poulin, R., & Hanish, L. (1999). The relations of emotionality and regulation to preschoolers’ social skills and sociometric status. Child Development, 70(5), 1366-1378.

Huh, D., Tristan, J., Wade, E., & Stice, E. (2006). Does problem behavior elicit poor parenting? A prospective study of adolescent girls. Journal of Adolescent Research, 21(2), 185-204.

Kawabata, Y., Alink, L. R., Tseng, W. L., Van Ijzendoorn, M. H., & Crick, N. R. (2011). Maternal and paternal parenting styles associated with relational aggression in children and adolescents: A conceptual analysis and meta-analytic review. Developmental Review, 31(4), 240-278.

Lamborn, S. D., Mounts, N. S., Steinberg, L., & Dornbusch, S. M. (1991). Patterns of competence and adjustment among adolescents from authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent, and neglectful families. Child Development, 62(5), 1049-1065.

Lamborn, S. D., Dornbusch, S. M., & Steinberg, L. (1996). Ethnicity and community context as moderators of the relations between family decision making and adolescent adjustment. Child Development, 67(1), 283-301.

Martinez, I. A., Muñoz-Silva, A., Ortega, R., Dimitrova, R., & Pössel, P. (2007). Parenting styles and substance use among adolescents in Spain. Journal of Substance Abuse, 33(4), 645-659.

Olivari, O., Arnieri, S., Maroni, C., & Vincenzi, L. (2015). Is paternal parenting style related to preadolescent obesity? A longitudinal study in Italy. Journal of Pediatric Endocrinology & Metabolism, 28(3-4), 181-187.

Pinquart, M. (2016). Associations of parenting styles and dimensions with academic achievement in children and adolescents: A meta-analysis. Educational Psychology Review, 28(3), 475-493.

Pinquart, M., & Gerke, D. C. (2019). Associations of parenting styles with internalizing and externalizing symptoms in children and adolescents: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Developmental Psychology, 55(2), 382-401

Pinquart, M., Ebeling, S., Månsson, N., Schmid, K., & Silbereisen, R. K. (2018). Parenting styles and academic outcomes: A systematic review. Educational Research Review, 24, 105-134.

Robinson, C. C., Mandleco, B. L., Olsen, S. F., & Hart, C. H. (1996). Authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting practices: Development of a new measure. Psychological Reports, 79(3), 819-830.

Ruane, A., & Carr, A. (2019). Parenting styles, child psychopathology, and academic achievement: A meta-analysis. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28(11), 3098-3111.

Steinberg, L., Dornbusch, S. M., & Brown, B. B. (1992). Ethnic differences in adolescent achievement: An ecological perspective. American Psychologist, 47(6), 723-729.

Steinberg L. 2001. We know some things: Parent-adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of research on adolescence 11(1): 1-19.

Turkel, S. B., & Teser, P. J. (2009). Parenting styles in America and China: A comparative analysis of self-reported roles. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal, 37(3), 374-393.

Wong, M. M., Ho, S. Y., & Cheng, K. Y. (2021). Parenting styles and executive function in children with ADHD: The mediating roles of emotional regulation and conduct problems. Journal of Attention Disorders, 25(4), 614-625.

Zhange, D. L., Fan, W. Q., Fang, X. Y., & Zhang, Y. (2017). Parenting styles and adolescents’ school adjustment: The mediating role of teacher-student relationship. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 2192.
Citation

Grobman, K. H. (2023). Parenting Styles: Original to Contemporary Research and Applications, CopernicanRevolution.org (revision of essay originally published, 2008, https://devpsy.org/teaching/parent/baumrind_styles.html)
Redhead girl with bunny sitting in the leaves.